Oh how it warmed the cockles of my heart to see Sir Bob Geldof and his superannuated millionaire mateys bestir themselves once again for the poor benighted Africans!
Oh how (bowel-) moving to see the aristocracy of rock gather together in a spirit of brotherhood towards their fellow man and revive a conscience-stirring anthem of giving!
Oh how warm and fuzzy I felt inside seeing all of these rich people sacrifice their time and talents to help those less fortunate!
Oh how wonderful it must feel to swap anecdotes and tax dodges in a glow of camaraderie while quaffing champers and scoffing caviare butties (tax-deductible, no doubt).
Oh how guilty I felt as I fingered the change in my pocket, realising that I was going to have to spend it on diesel to get to work instead of buying this hymn to universal brotherhood.
Oh how grateful I felt to Bobby and his mates as they made me realise how selfish and uncaring I was towards my neighbour.
Oh how unworthy I felt as cynically I wondered if this was nothing more that a ruse to revive various flagging careers.
Oh how much self-loathing and hatred I felt as I mused upon the fact that U2 gave away their latest album to iPhone owners (not exactly the most destitute of people) instead of putting it on sale at a greatly reduced price, proceeds going to combating Ebola. Obviously I am a hateful sceptic unfit to share a bottle of Bollinger with the great and good who were setting me such a shining example of self-sacrifice.
In sum, instead of trying to shame ordinary people with their mortgages, school and/or university fees to part with a few pennies, why don't these people donate the royalties of one of their hit songs or albums to the cause - although I dare say that in the case of Saint Bob such royalties would be rather (and deservedly) meagre these days? How easy it is to have a social conscience when you've got more money than you know what to do with, except employ armies of accountants and tax lawyers to keep as much of it as possible and scrabble for more by demonstrating how wonderful you are by donating our money to your pet causes.
Pay your taxes, I say, and then both the people and their governments will be able to contribute more to such things as the Ebola crisis.
I don't deny anyone the right to accumulate a fortune and enjoy it as they see fit, but I do object to a bunch of millionaires taking money from my pocket in order to bolster their own images as concerned humanitarian crusaders.